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The masculine imbalance of motherhood

Motherhood took me deep into my masculine.

I HAD to embody more of my masculine.

Because regardless of being in a relationship with a man who thought he was masculine af, the imbalanced patriotic version of masculine is what he was embodying, control, dominance, and entitlement at the forefront at the same time wanting me to be everything else, his mama, and lover, but I was now an actual mama and I was carrying the majority of the load and the masculine decisions, and efforts all landed on my shoulders with never ending expectations, zero appreciation, or even respect for all I did, offered and was.

I blamed myself for my haggered, depleted and exhausted demeanour and expression of self. No longer the vibrant, seggsy, fun, sensual, creative and free spirited women he once fell for.

I blamed myself that he was no longer attracted to me, that he no longer wanted to get seggsy with me, to have fun with me, or that he was seeking feminine energy in other women because mine was depleted af.

Of course none of this was my fault, well maybe a 1/4 of it at that time due to the decisions and choices I was making to stay or allowing, but in the midst of darkness one can not always see straight.

But as I learn more about masculine and feminine energy I now see that I did not feel safe, held or even have the space to rest into my wild, flowing, emotional, soft, creative, nurturing, carefree and passionately s3xy feminine energy.

Motherhood is when a women must become the adult for her child. If her counterpart does not, much of the weight falls on her. This means she must embody more masculine energy to survive in this masculine, logical world when her counterpart does not step into his masculine responsibilities, which many do not. He did not beyond bringing in the money resentfully for a time, (which by the way is only a fraction of masculine embodiement) because they have not been taught how, or what is needed, some have even been taught that it is not their role to step up in more ways than providing an income.

Some don't even provide that.

Feminine energy needs to feel safe, loved, to be supported, held, contained, nurtured and cherished to relax into opening herself.

Men (or the more masculine dominant partner) must learn that if they want their women in their feminine expression, they must learn to cultivate the safety and hold the space for her to relax into the embodiment of it.

That they must carry more of the load than society has taught and projected on to us, and learn what a healthy masculine energy actually is.

Healthy masculine energy is the pillar or the rock that holds the feminine ocean. The feminine when held and given the safety and space to relax will in return offer deep nourishment through sensual, sexual or creative expressions of many kinds.

To hold the feminine is not to dominate or control her, but to be the container, the logic, the decisive driving active force, the provider (of some kind) that allows the feminine to relax, make less decisions (but she must have a choice remembering desiviness is not about domination or control) and less responsibility to carry, so she may flow, create, nourish, dance, love and sensually and sexually express herself, to bring beauty,passion and life to the mundane.

Feminine energy makes us feel alive but she needs the space to flourish.

Women need to be able to trust her masculine counter part to be in his strong masculine so she can relax the masculine traits she has built up to protect her and to survive.

Trust is built in the little moments, decisions, follow through, the masculine speaking and living from his authentic truth and much more.

When a women does not trust her counterpart to follow through with what he says, to make healthy decisions, and to live authentically from his truth, she will find it difficult to relax into her feminine.

I had to live from my masculine, the energy of action, push and survival energy because he had no idea about the ways of embodying a healthy masculine and lived from a patriotic mindset when it came to women, relationships and children. A boy himself, not taught or initiated into manhood like many men. So it is not all their fault. The reasons for this we will not get into, his journey is his own.

But I was depleted, carrying too much and this altered the way I showed up in the world physically, mentally, spiritually and energetically.  Of course I’m not a perfect human being and it is not all his fault that I decided to leave the relationship that had really ended before I left but this post is about masculine and feminine energy and not the logistics of my separation.

But it was when I became a single mum that I found more space and safety to begin to embody more of my feminine again.

Sure being a single mama, I still have to take the time consciously to reconnect to the feminine because well, it’s still a, lot. But life became easier as a single mum, that is my personal experience of life so far.

Because my time became my time not family time and babes ain’t nothing selfish about that we all need our own time to connect back.

Believe it or not, becoming a solo parent for ME was easier than being a parent in a relationship that was unhealthy, imbalanced and unserving of both of our needs and wants in this journey of life.

Some relationships must end, sometimes becoming a single parent is the best option for all involved and we need to start to normalise this as the projection of shame of becoming a single parent can still be so for real and it’s bullshit babes.

Do what is healthiest for you body, mind, soul and seggs and you are also doing what is healthiest for your babies.

You are worthy of reconnecting to the feminine, rebalancing your feminine to masculine energy.

It is time we all men and women learn more about one another and how to find and to support balance of these energies within ourselves and each other.

Mothers do not become haggard, drained, rageful, and hardened, depleted of our sensual feminine because we want to be, we want to be soft, playful, sensual, loving, vibrant and sexual but we need your help babes (men and partners).

We no longer have villages, we need you to carry more of the load, to make more decisions, to embody your true masculine energy and to offer ways for us to have the support and space to relax into.

Our yin.

Big love

Amy Dee xxo

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